Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Moirei v’Raboisei!

Vaat an honor it is to write to all you losers who rambled into this prospectively miserable blog. Welcome! Please, take a seat, relax, and make yourself at home.

I’m a Hassidic guy from Kiryas Joel, NY with too much time next to his keyboard. I’m not a professional, although I want to be. I’m not a scholar, although I should’ve been. I’m not the sociable dude to hang around with; I sulk, really. I’m just a Pusheter Yid; A simple and down-to-earth Jew who doesn't knows much and doesn't care to know more. Okay, Lipa actually made the phrase popular and I’m piggybacking on him. So what? I thought it’s cool. Besides, I use an alternate spelling: Pusheter rather than Poshiter.

I constantly listen to my fellow Hassidim passionately discussing the hot button issues of the day, but I’m reluctant to weigh in. You see? I suffer from a chronic sore throat and can’t outshout them all. Besides, I just hate verbal arguments. I can’t bring my point across before I’m cut in by a raving contender or a mob of them.

So I decided to write a blog. Here I’m king.  Here I will make all my silly arguments, air my warped viewpoints, and tell trite and corny jokes, and I will do all that in a calm and peaceful tone. When I’m done, I hand over to trumpet to you in the comments section, and you’re welcome to blow one-hundred-and-one sounds—in a respectful manner, please.

Initially I had some misgivings about authoring a blog. The Internet (wrong term, but whatever) in general was banned by the Hassidic Rabbinate (I just made up the term, but you get the idea.) Internet is allowed for mercantile purposes only, and even that the rabbis permitted grudgingly. But then I thought so many frum people read Jewish news sites and socialize on Facebook. What harm could possibly result from the grumbles of a Pusheter Yid?

Indeed, because the Web is Satan’s favorite hangout place, I will need to expend extra effort to keep this place kosher. Save for separate comments sections for men and women, this place will be as kosher and as holy and as chumradig as the Web permits.

L’Chaim! To life!


Hershey Fekete said...

good go buddy, you had me so interseted the whole time reading your entry, till you wrote the you will try to have seperate seating for men and woman in the arguments, and on top of that i had to visually see from wiki what a chumra, but i trust you, you will keep me coming back here every day/night
good luck my man

A Pusheter Yid said...

Thank you, HF
Actually I said I will NOT have separate sections for men and women, but that’s not even relevant. You’re not a woman, are you? But just in case a woman does wander in here, and just in case she doesn’t share a common background with you, I wanted to explain what a chumra is.

Chusid Wannabe said...

Awesome stuff...

So tell me, what does the "average chusid yusel" (if such a person exists) think of people like me who hang on the fringes of heimishe society, sprinkle in some yiddishisms here and there, but at the end of the day go back to their modernishe world? Contempt? Pity? Tolerance? I'd like to hear your opinion.

A Pusheter Yid said...

Return to the modern world after seeing the beauty and tasting the sweetness of a REAL Jewish lifestyle? Either you are kidding me, or you’re totally out of your mind. Nebach, you probably had a tough childhood. We can’t judge you.
It’s pity; yeah, pity, nebach.

Chusid Wannabe said...

I did have a tough childhood, as it so happens, but I won't dwell on that...

It's not that I wouldn't like to live a "REAL Jewish lifestyle" , but my wife won't let (I know, I know, don't even say it...). she went berzerk when she saw that I was taking yiddish lessons, and tried to let my pyos grow (we have major issues). How do you deal with a recalcitrant spouse?

A Pusheter Yid said...

Can’t see why anybody would object Yiddish lessons; It’s harmless.